READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
