i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
