Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
