BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i think my cat just said my name.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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