I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
