i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
