Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...

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(513): View more from Ohio

you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.

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(818): View more from California

That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!

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(719): View more from Colorado

So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him

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(253): View more from Washington

The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid

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(501): View more from Arkansas

My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?

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(562): View more from California

The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.

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(310): View more from California

Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.

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(269): View more from Michigan

Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?

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