yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Oh god it's open bar.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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