"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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