He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
