Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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