Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
