the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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