I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
