i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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