there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
