Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
