Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
