i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
