is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
