I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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