True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
