shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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