i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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