Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
