Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
whose parrot is this?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
