Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
