You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
