trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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