there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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