Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
