I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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