you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
