Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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