So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
