Too much gin, very little bucket
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
