Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
