Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
