Your face is a jimmy john
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
