whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
