Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
