I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize