Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
