So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
