he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
