So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize