I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
