what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
