My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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