so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
