We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
