I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize