i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
