Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
