yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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