All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Randomize
