very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
